The High Cost of Feminism – Why Women Need to Lead Differently From Men

I grew up in the 1970’s. My mother was a homemaker and we saw her every day after school. She made our meals and she had the time and energy to take us traveling and hiking to many special places. While it wasn’t a perfect life, there were definitely issues, we loved each other deeply.

After moving to the mountains of Vermont, we had a small family farm. Life centered around our home. My siblings and I were encouraged to discover as many new interests as possible. We were free to learn, research and build things, to explore and create. It was a simpler life then. We were “land poor” having little money, but lots of time. If we needed her, my mother was there for reference and counsel. I am grateful for those years.

Home Life Today in America – and the Physical, Emotional and Mental Consequences

Back in1990, I remember going door-to-door as a volunteer for a political campaign. There were lots of people who answered the doorbell. People lived in their homes and more moms stayed home.

Almost thirty years have passed and times have changed. Most moms no longer stay at home. Expensive houses sit empty, for hours each day.

Children don’t have as many, or any, home-cooked meals. Obesity, diabetes and other degenerative disease rates are sky-rocketing. Fast food and prepared foods are not real food, and it shows.

More importantly, children lack spiritual and emotional nourishment inside their homes. Long-term health depends not just on physical food, but in the joy, peace and communion of meal times with family and friends.

Too many children, on a large scale today, do not build strong emotional attachments to their parents in their youth, through interacting with someone who deeply loves them. Parents often become unavailable to children through their lack of energy to fully focus, distracted by simply too much.

While emotionally neglected children may have “financially successful” parents who do their best to provide, these parents are simply too tired, or preoccupied with their own lives or past traumas, to put themselves into the mind of their child.

This child is then forced to self-regulate their dopamine, by becoming literally addicted to social media and video games on iphones or ipad screens. Or, through abusing sugar, and any number of other substances and stimulants.

Do we want to perpetuate these problems, or change them for the better?

Women Are Not Made to Be the Same as Men

The definition of Feminism is defined in the Merriam-Webster dictionary as:

1. the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes

2. organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests

Equality is defined as: the state of being equal, especially in status, rights, and opportunities.

While I believe men and women are most certainly created equal in value, this doesn’t mean we are meant to have exactly the same roles in life. Anyone wanting women to face men in hand-to-hand combat is particularly delusional. Women have shot themselves in the foot, screaming for the definition of equality mentioned above.

The fact women were not, by law, able to own their own corporations before the 1960’s was an interesting fact to learn. But women have always had the opportunity to have their own home businesses.

While many women may be wildly “successful” in running their own corporations today, they are too often emotionally very unhappy, anxious and physically worn-out.

Women were designed to have a very different hormone make-up from men. While women are encouraged to become “leaders” in the corporate world today, this often puts them under a constant strain to fight for contracts and job bids. This causes real hormonal changes. When under prolonged stress, a woman’s normal testosterone level actually rises, making her seem “hard” like a man. Not soft and nurturing, like a woman.

Does acting the same as a man give women more or less value? What is your definition of success? Has the corporate side of law really helped women for the long-term?

You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby

I remember seeing the famous Virginia Slims cigarette magazine and billboard ad which said, You’ve Come A Long Way, Baby. It seemed like a big fat lie back then. I knew when I was a little girl that cigarettes were bad for your health.

But this inciting ad slogan had much deeper connotations. It seems more like a truth today, but only if you realize women have come a long way – a long way down.

A woman was once revered and respected by everyone for taking her vitally important role inside the home.

Men have fought and died for centuries, to protect their homes and families. These men had mothers and sisters. Once married, they took their roles as protector and provider of their wives and children very seriously. It was their honor.

The present-day feminist movement would have us believe the majority of women before women’s suffrage were beaten, abused, repressed, engulfed in home-life drudgery, having no opportunities to improve themselves, or become educated, etc., etc.

I am an anti-feminist. I can only say this, because I am a woman. If a man opens his mouth against feminism, he’s usually slaughtered. Unfortunately, men don’t really have equal opportunity to state their opinion in today’s culture. It’s not socially acceptable.

In saying this, I do not mean I condone the repression or mistreatment of women in any sense. I stand for the equality of value of both men and women. Yet “equality” simply does not mean we were all meant to have the same roles in life.

Most women who call themselves “feminists” have, at some time in their lives, been deeply wounded by a man or men. They are desiring what all women want – protection. This is the role of a man.

I, too, have been wounded in life, by both men and women. I just don’t like the labels. Why can’t we just work together as men and women? We each have different strengths and weaknesses.

I do not appreciate hearing constant false impressions which basically disparage the strong and wise men and women of our nation’s past. Were they stupid back then? Are we so smart, with all of our growing health-care costs and concerns now? 

Our nation once had a majority of strong families, who raised healthy, well-adjusted, un-addicted children with good character. 

Surely, there have always been people, of both genders, who lacked good morals, but as a whole, our family, communities, culture and society was strong.

Women have always had opportunities to lead from their homes – in business, agriculture, health-care, the arts, and fashion. And perhaps even in science. What stops a determined woman who has an interest and a goal? Not much.


Why do we need polarizing labels?

Leading from the Heart and Home

Taking care of children emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically is no light task. It requires a tremendous amount of good character to learn to relate, encourage, coach, counsel, serve, build and comfort children, who manage to arrive with very different personalities, needs and abilities.

Today, we spend huge amounts of tax-payer money to have other people outside the family care for our children, inside and outside schools. Children now have enormous and expensive medical concerns. I believe these problems directly relate to women failing to take their role of personally nurturing, caring for and feeding their own children.

When Titus 2 instructs older women to teach younger women to be a “keeper at home” this was not given as a sentence of doom! It was meant for the long-term benefit and protection of both the woman, and the other members of the household!

The Greek word translated “keeper at home” is οἰκουρός and means one who is a guard or watchkeeper of the house, domestically inclined and a good housekeeper.

There is definitely something at home to guard and care for, and unfortunately, today, on too large a scale, over-tired, employed mothers are struggling to do it. Men, whether they want to acknowledge it or not, mothers are in need of your help.

Yes, I get it, many women long to stay home, but for reasons outside their control, cannot. I clearly understand the cares of single moms, huge tax burdens, the lack of assistance and support from family, and other pressures. I know single moms who work three jobs, trying to pay their bills, while many immigrants are receiving free food, free housing and free cell phones.

The beauty of America’s family life continues to be destroyed and degraded by our current culture’s clamour for a woman’s “independence” and “self-sufficiency”.

Is this what we want for our future?

Interdependence – Working Together

Stephen Covey has pointed out in his book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, pp. 49-51 that interdependence is actually of higher value and measures an even greater degree of maturity than does independence!

Because, as an artist, I have desired to work primarily from my home, I looked for validation in a culture which really didn’t support my desire. As I grew older, I clipped and kept newspaper articles about women who were tired of working in the 9-5 world. These women were wanting to come home, to work from home.

 I’ve met many women who are very, very physically exhausted from working like rats in a cage. Women, who often need more sleep than men, tend to get less sleep today, and subsequently develop serious illnesses after years of prolonged stress. 

When a mother is sick, their family suffers, too.

It seems obtaining an expensive college education, often attached to going into debt, and then the requisite job outside the home are expectations for every woman today. Our society exults in encouraging only independent women who eventually believe they have no need of a man’s help.

Yet, while some women may be cut out for the corporate world and do manage under strain, it’s just not for everyone!

All women should not choose to work like veritable slaves, under non-caring, money-driven employers. I invite you to join these women. 

Come home, women, come home. Your nation needs you there.

The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. Who is rocking your cradle?

Thoughts from your painting-friend,

Elise

Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. ~ Ephesians 5:20-21

The Hand That Rocks the Cradle Rules the World

 by William Ross Wallace (1819-1881)

Blessings on the hand of women!

    Angels guard its strength and grace.

In the palace, cottage, hovel,

    Oh, no matter where the place;

Would that never storms assailed it,

    Rainbows ever gently curled,

For the hand that rocks the cradle

    Is the hand that rules the world.

Infancy’s the tender fountain,

    power may with beauty flow,

Mothers first to guide the streamlets,

    From them souls unresting grow —

Grow on for the good or evil,

    Sunshine streamed or evil hurled,

For the hand that rocks the cradle

    Is the hand that rules the world.

Woman, how divine your mission,

    Here upon our natal sod;

Keep — oh, keep the young heart open

    Always to the breath of God!

All true trophies of the ages

    Are from mother-love impearled,

For the hand that rocks the cradle

    Is the hand that rules the world.

Blessings on the hand of women!

    Fathers, sons, and daughters cry,

And the sacred song is mingled

    With the worship in the sky —

Mingles where no tempest darkens,

    Rainbows evermore are hurled;

For the hand that rocks the cradle

    Is the hand that rules the world.

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